I'm thinking I should take that volume back up off the shelf...

So here I am. 12:01 a.m. and all I can think about is the fact that I'm leaving California once and for all, in 6 days. SIX.

Of course "I'll be back", but the mere reality that I'm hanging up my hat on this place is unreal. If I could sum up what I went through nearly six years ago to get my 19 year old self out here in a a few paragraphs, I would. But I think it would take the smaller part of a book. A lot of tears, sacrifice, turmoil, which led to smiles, new friends, new "family," and a new life. And here I am, about to embark on yet a new beginning and sacrifice over again...and I'm sort of in the same place at 26 that I was at 19, preparing to leave behind all I knew for unfamiliar territory.

At 26 I'm currently unemployed in this totally awesome economy and job market (thank you former President Bush), with nothing but a little hope in my wallet. I found my apartment in about 24 hours, leaving behind friends and the only family I've known the past two and a half years which has been Lisa, my roommate and best friend. And moving away to start a new life with someone I love. All of these things match verbatim what I was doing/leaving then. Crazy how life mirrors itself.

As much as I want to pretend I'm completely prepared for this, I'm not. It's an adventure by every definition of the word and anything could happen. I'm excited for a new start and a new chapter in life's novel. But there is a part of me that is absolutely terrified. But even though that's true, I know I will get through it and come out on top. I always do. All I need is a little time and a couple of folks willing to take a chance.

But I'm going to miss this view and the feeling I have standing on the balcony off of my bedroom...

Onward and Upward

I love writing. And for some it's an outlet when they're upset or angry. But these days people are blogging about anything and everything, and some even make a living off of it. I'm not trying to make money, but I'm no different. Sometimes I write as a muse but most of the time I just want a way to be heard when I have something to share or say. I've had a blog since I was 18 years old. At first it was more of a "Dear Diary," type of thing, later turning into small pieces of writing I had worked on for cause & effect. I'll leave that blog where it is. This one is different. Blogs are everwhere -all things blog. This is just that. A fresh start and a blog of all things Afton.

Growing up in St. Louis, I moved to Orange County, California (Huntington Beach) in 2003. From there I moved to Los Angeles and have now been here for about 5 years. These last five tally marks on my calendar have been all about discovery. Along the normal time path of love found/love lost, good times, and tragedies, I've learned to be an adult. To take care of myself. To have a voice and speak up and give my opinion. One of the things I haven't quite realized is what exactly it is I want to do, but I can tell you some of the things I want to do along the way.

One of those things is photography. Since I was a kid I've been obsessed with photos. Looking at them. Caputuring them. I use to steal old black and white photos from my grandma and carry them in my pocket. I learned the basics of film photography in high school and later digital photography on my own - (it's not that difficult). Now I have the tools and equipment to really make something of it. More of that will come in time once I have moved and things have settled down.

In two weeks I'm picking up my life once again and moving to Chicago, Illinois. The windy city will hopefully bring more smiles, friendlier people, and just one tank fill up away from my family. I have to be out of my apartment in two and a half weeks and as of this moment do not have a place to live yet in Chicago or a job. But boxes are being packed and plans are being made.

I have all I feel I need: a solid soul and the blood I bleed.

Onward and Upward.

(Thanks to Shabbyblogs.com for my fancy background)