So here I am. 12:01 a.m. and all I can think about is the fact that I'm leaving California once and for all, in 6 days. SIX.
Of course "I'll be back", but the mere reality that I'm hanging up my hat on this place is unreal. If I could sum up what I went through nearly six years ago to get my 19 year old self out here in a a few paragraphs, I would. But I think it would take the smaller part of a book. A lot of tears, sacrifice, turmoil, which led to smiles, new friends, new "family," and a new life. And here I am, about to embark on yet a new beginning and sacrifice over again...and I'm sort of in the same place at 26 that I was at 19, preparing to leave behind all I knew for unfamiliar territory.
At 26 I'm currently unemployed in this totally awesome economy and job market (thank you former President Bush), with nothing but a little hope in my wallet. I found my apartment in about 24 hours, leaving behind friends and the only family I've known the past two and a half years which has been Lisa, my roommate and best friend. And moving away to start a new life with someone I love. All of these things match verbatim what I was doing/leaving then. Crazy how life mirrors itself.
As much as I want to pretend I'm completely prepared for this, I'm not. It's an adventure by every definition of the word and anything could happen. I'm excited for a new start and a new chapter in life's novel. But there is a part of me that is absolutely terrified. But even though that's true, I know I will get through it and come out on top. I always do. All I need is a little time and a couple of folks willing to take a chance.
But I'm going to miss this view and the feeling I have standing on the balcony off of my bedroom...
Posts
1 comment:
you just made me shed a tear. somethings are easier to say when you write them out and pretend someone who wont "judge" you and just listen is there. and I wish i would have read this a long time ago. I wish i would have pent more time with you. my life didnt really alott that time to me though. with school work and shitty relationship and all. but it is what it is, as i am sure thats what you feel about your move to chicago. after you left. i realized what a good friend you are and how dearly i miss you. i gues this all comes to with losing someone ive known for 11 years today who has colored my childhood in ways that people who enter your life do. but ya. lets end this on i love you and get your ass back to la.
Post a Comment