20, 25, 29.....30.

For those of you who don’t know me or just know me via the interwebz, hi. I’m Afton. Sometimes I tweet, sometimes I tumblr. You might know my face from the book of faces. While all of that is fun, I hope for this to be a little more personal. 

On March 10^th I turned 30 years old. For those of you who have already passed that marker and want to say something along the lines of “oh it’s not so bad,” (while you might be right and I appreciate that) let’s hold that thought for a moment or 10. We all have periods of our lives (at least I think we do) where we stop what we’re doing and take a look around and are either totally pumped about where our lives are at and where they might be going, or have this "come-to-Jesus moment" where we feel like things might need a second look. I swear I’m the overachiever in the latter and have done this every single year since turning 24-ish.

With everything I have been blessed with in my life – a loving family, working for a company I only dreamt of being a part of, my health, a roof over my head, wonderful friends, the opportunities I took at a young age to travel and live in different places across the country – there is still a void. I’m pretty sure John Mayer wrote a song about this. Sing it, John.

We all have our inner struggles with envy in various parts of life whether it’s envy over a job, self image, children, health, marriage, talent, or wealth. This here is mine.

At the risk of dropping names or angering anyone I’ve previously dated (you know who you are so you can relax), keep in mind that this is my space. My blog. My thoughts. And it’s nice to read something that’s very real every once in a while, at the risk of the writer (in this case, me) humiliating him/herself. Those are my favorite reads because I can respect those stories.

I am standing here in 2013 on the coast of summer again. Last summer (2012, if you aren't living in the present) was a rollercoaster of challenges and also pure joy. In conversation I have described it as the best and worst, but last summer really was THE best summer I’ve had in a very long time. I spent it with amazing friends who have become like family, I traveled, and without the risk of sounding crazy – I fell in love pretty quickly. It was that gross kind of enchantment. You know, where you drive 350 miles to surprise someone you just met weeks before and everything is perfect so they fly you to Athens, Georgia and out of nowhere you get sick but go out with bronchitis and dance to 8d’s music anyway and jump the gun and say something huge because you’re super excited and in some loving moment you share with that person it makes all the sense in the world but later you eventually regret it even though you both said it and it comes back to haunt you and the only way to convey the repercussions of this to you (the reader) is to write a super long-run-on sentence? …Yeah, that kind. We’ve all felt that way whether we’ve verbalized it or not, so I’m ok with saying it out loud. I’ll come back to this guy later.

My twenties were spent in two (and one half) long-term relationships. The first was a five-year relationship that took me out of my small hometown upbringing to the eye-opening big city of Los Angeles, CA. It was a decision that changed who I was as a person and taught me more about who I could be and what I wanted out of life. It was the best decision I’ve ever made and a young love that was real and more than I could have asked for. But young has to grow up and after five years together in our early twenties, we didn’t share the same path. To this day I consider him one of my best and truest friends and the reason I started a journey that I might not have otherwise. 

The "and one half" relationship I'm referring to was on and off for 5 years. I met this person my sophomore year as an undergrad just before moving to California. The timing wasn't right, but we had a true friendship and wonderful connection. Even when I moved back home two years later, the timing still wasn't right. Hearts were being pulled by long my disintegrating long-distant relationship and the love this person and I shared at home. On our third attempt three years later, I was living back in California and he in St. Louis. We tried our best but I didn't have another long distance relationship in me. Hence, bad timing creeping up on me again. 10 years after meeting him, we both see each other as "the one that got away." But at the end of the day, his happiness and talent fuels my happiness for him and the love that he has found. He deserves it.

The latter of these two is still present in my life. Upon my decision to move from Los Angeles to Chicago, I brought a partner in crime. I will spare the details and just say, it's a crazy situation, but in the last five years he has been by my side through literally everything and I love him dearly. Some people may regret a relationship that didn't go the way you anticipated or that made you see sides of yourself that you never knew were there. I never have felt that regret. If it is meant to be, it will. I guess that's what I'm waiting to find out. But, every experience has something to offer and teach you. He is a wonderful person and is close to my heart. We share a dog and a closeness that is confusing as shit, let’s be real. But we are who we are. 

When I think about what happened last summer – It’s weird. In my early twenties I probably would have brushed the situation off and gone on to the next thing. After all, it was a flame that lasted only a few short months and then flickered out. But here's why it was a different experience for me. As we get older our priorities change. Timing and I have never been BFFs but this one approached me at over 6 feet tall with long hair, a beard, and a good smile - so I was all, "Hey boy. Nice accent." All of this at a time where I was (unknowingly) ready to put myself out there. At 29, it’s not as easy to do as when you were 25. But those real moments where you feel like you truly connect are few and far in between.

…So I embraced the shit out of it.

Why am I telling you this? Did I get burned? Yes. Am I still burning? No. When I want to write - I just start tapping keys and whatever generates, goes. But real talk: I reflect on it because I learned so much about myself in a short period of time. I’m just a young lady like many single city-going gals who are in the same boat - living this sort of Sex in the City life – with less sex and more “Is this real life...? Where is this going...? Do I have enough money for those shoes?” kind of a thing…

I think it’s important to evaluate what you really want out of life and at the end of the day, what it is you value. What your expectations are for your future, how you feel in certain situations and about people that come in and out of your life. Whether you feel like you fell too hard, too fast or maybe you broke someone’s heart, you’re not crazy for having real feelings and you're the opposite of crazy for telling them how you feel. Timing has never been my thing but in all fairness - why should timing get the final say? People have a tendency to freak out when something good comes out of left field or someone tells it like it is.
Why? IDK!! Embrace that shit, people! On on the other hand, some people just aren’t for you - but how will you ever know what side of your life they belong on if you don't put on that bathing suit and jump in? If it's too cold, you GTFO. If it's nice, stay a while. PS - this applies to any area of your life where you feel challenged. Maybe you or I will have regret later; maybe not. At the end of the day - what I want and value in life is just to be happy. And I will go wherever that takes me. Being true to yourself is what makes you great on your own two feet doing what you do best: YOU. I just have to remember not focus too much on the past when it didn’t work like I had hoped or anticipated. It just helped carry me to this moment and place in time.

Except for that part where he actually did act like a douche. I was totally right about that.

Maybe that's why they call "the now" the present. Because it's a gift brought to you by where you came from. Your past.

C'est la vie.

Drive

We can only grow at the pace life allows us to move. If we don’t embrace what is in front of us because of our past, we may miss something life changing and fantastic. 

I try and try to keep my eyes open and push uncertainties away and embrace the sun. Life has taught me there is always going to be a risk of failure or heartache – weather can change. But those things lead to strength and personal knowledge. Rebirth.

Do you really believe that we all go through life without reason, direction, or purpose? I don’t. Everything in it, everything introduced or re-introduced into your life is a road to somewhere that could be close to YOUR perfect. 

So take the wheel and steer. 

Dear Maggi

Dear Maggi,

As your oldest sister with a gaping 12 years in between us and about 276 miles - I wanted to tell you a couple of things..

Since you were 8, I've had to watch you grow up from a distance between living in California and Chicago. People always ask me why I would ever leave California for Chicago. "You left the sunshine and ocean for snow?!" Uh, yeah. I'm crazy - I know. It's -10 here and my friends are still sunbathing in Long Beach. (P.S. LB friends - summers out here are the jam. We just hibernate for 6 months.) But the first thing out of my mouth when I respond (right before my wanting to be closer to my family, obviously) is - "Well...I have two younger sisters and I just felt like I was missing out on so much of their lives." It bothered me knowing I missed almost all of Casey's high school years and moments I wish I could have been there for. Now I look at her and see the gorgeous and bright young little teacher she is about to become and IT'S CRAY. Time goes by so much faster when you miss things. Being here, I've at least been able to see more of your last three years. 

I can't tell you how much of a treat it is for me to watch you dance. I can't stop bragging about how fantastic you are - all of you. You're entire team is incredible. You come from a long line of cheerleaders so the fact that you went this route was different and let's be real - we've all seen mom and dad's dance moves and Casey and I can drop it like it's hot but that's about the extent of it. I don't know where you get it. I did have that one shining moment in 1996 with Megan in that jazz dance class. In hindsight, I'm pretty sure it was full of Fitness & Fun rejects and well...you can ask mom how that went down. There's video somewhere I should have burned by now.

On a serious note - I am so proud and in awe of the talent that you have. You have a passion and beauty on that floor that is nothing like I've seen. Don't ever give that up. One thing I've learned in my almost 30 years is that following your heart and doing/discovering what you love is of most importance and the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself; win or lose, supporters or doubters. Uncertainty, risk, and fear builds character. I say this because you're standing on the brink of a time that is going to be life shaping. You and Casey are such brave and bold young ladies and I couldn't be a prouder big sister.

Mags, you shine so bright and I hope you hang on to that for as long as you can and as long as you want to. Because you can honestly do anything.

Make the most of what is left of this last competition season. And kick some serious ass along the way.

Mom - stop crying.

xoxo,
Aft.

 

 

AMA Recipe: Quinoa Black Bean Veggie Chili

Quinoa Black Bean Veggie Chili

Checklist:

•       1 cup uncooked quinoa, rinsed
•       2 cups water
•       2 tablespoons olive oil
•       1 red onion, chopped  - Use half if you prefer
•       3 cloves garlic, chopped
•       3/4 tablespoon chili powder
•       1 tablespoon ground cumin
•        1 - 2 (28 ounce) can(s) diced tomatoes (how much do you like tomatoes?) 
•        1 (ounce) can tomato sauce
•        2 (19 ounce) cans black beans - drained
•        1 green bell pepper, chopped
•        1 lime
•        1 red bell pepper, chopped
•        1 zucchini, chopped
•        1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
•        1 tablespoon minced chipotle peppers
•        1 teaspoon dried oregano
•        salt and ground black pepper to taste
•        1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
•        Shredded cheese of your choice

Combine quinoa and water and bring to a boil in a saucepan over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the quinoa is tender, and the water has been absorbed, about 15 to 20 minutes; set aside.

Heat 1 tbsp. olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Stir in chopped onion, and cook until the onion softens and turns translucent, about 5 minutes. Add in remaining tbsp. of olive oil and the garlic, chili powder, and cumin; cook and stir 1 minute to release the flavors. Stir in diced tomatoes, black beans, tomato sauce, green bell pepper, red bell pepper, zucchini, jalapeno pepper, chipotle pepper, and oregano. 

Season to taste with salt and pepper. 

Bring to a simmer, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer 20 minutes.

After 20 minutes, stir in the reserved quinoa and cut lime into halves and squeeze into chili. Remove from the heat, and garnish with cheese and cilantro to serve.

And that my friends is my spin on Quinoa black bean veggie chilli. 

Enjoy!

Worth it...

When life curves to the left unexpectedly, it can be hard to turn left and embrace the new direction. But at every angle, life offers opportunity. Good or bad, heartbreak, challenge or a time of bliss, I am thankful for the good that comes with every experience; the people I meet, every smile that is shared – no matter how few, and even the sweat and tears that continue for a time after. Because they condition me to be a better me. And I am better prepared when the curve finally veers right.

Something Good

In daylight I smile with a veiled frown
People pass by the heart in the puddle because I hide it so well

In moonlight I fall asleep with tears and wake up alone
Because loneliness creeps into my room and blankets my queen-size bed

They say things like, “life is what you make it” or "everything works out in time"

But sometimes it all feels like an endless maze

When one thing settles, something else is disturbed
The sun stops shining and the rain comes down
And even if the rain stops and the sun shines
The ground will crack with a returning thirst
They say that love goes anywhere...
But it seems like you gave in to what you can't see

The summer air on my skin feels like the warmth of hope and reminds me of your smile

They say “something good is never easy"

And all we can do is embrace the good and venture out on the winding road

Because worry and fear never gets us anywhere

It puts you at a fork in the road before what was just a curve ahead;
An opportunity to take a wrong turn
Where this is broken is on you - it is not where you will find me
The more you pull constricts the fall
The more you think the less you're taught

Heaven help those who don't change

With faith in this heavy heart I embrace the frightening uncertainty to grow and learn

“With you, but not without me,” she says.


...help us all to keep the faith

The Man in Black, The Duke, and Loyal Case.

Over the last couple of years as I've gotten older, I'm really starting to think more and more about the people in my life; what they mean to me, and whether or not they know. This was the foundation of me kicking off the letter project which has grown into something more where virtual strangers are involved, which is amazing.

When I think back on my childhood and youth, my family was (and is) my core. My experiences as a child really influenced the person I am today, the values I have, and the family I hope to someday raise. There are some memories that stick out more than others, and my grandpa Case is one of them.

My mom and aunt will tell you that my grandpa looked like, walked like, and talked like John Wayne. And he did. But what seems to do it for me is a little Johnny Cash. His voice reminds me so much of him sometimes, and he was just as handsome. My grandpa was also a military man; a veteran of the US Navy and tough as nails.

The end of 2011 marked 15 years without him. And as unbelievable as that is for me to calculate and realize, I can still remember that man's voice as clear as day. I was 13 years old when he passed away; young - but old enough and fortunate enough to have a basket full of memories to cling onto. One of my favorite things to do is sit down and have my mom tell me stories about growing up with him. I've heard all kinds of stories about the hard-working, dedicated, stern, intimidating man and father whose name to others was Loyal. As fun it is to hear those stories, that was not the man I knew. Intimidating, sure. To a small girl he stood 12 feet tall and had a baritone voice bigger to me than anything I had ever heard.

My grandparents use to have a yellow camper that might as well have been the Barbie Glamour Camper that to me was the coolest thing, ever. The first time I touched a fishing pole was with my grandpa. I caught two fish, and almost fell in the lake like a true girl, but if I was ever able to go with them to the campground, well...my entire month was probably made.

Visiting my grandparents house as little kid, one of the first things I wanted to do was go in the back room and see him. I'd find him watching a Cubs game or listening to his police scanner and reading the paper. Other times I could find him in the garage building something out of wood where I wasn't allowed to touch or sit near anything sharp. Sometimes you could find him sitting on the back stairs overlooking the backyard, probably talking about a squirrel and eating a braunschweiger sandwich. I'd just sit there with him. At some point within the first 30 minutes of being at their house, I would sneak into my grandma's cupboard where the goodies were and try to open it as quietly as I could. It never worked. He heard me every time, just sitting in his chair and would ever so lovingly say "GET OUT OF THERE YUM-YUM..."

...I walked away empty handed almost every time.

Why am I telling you all of these memories that hold no value to you? I don't know. I guess this is more of a reflection for me. I don't really know why he has such a strong mark in my life when I was just 13. I think about him often. I close my eyes a lot and try to put my Keds back on and place myself in his garage, or on the back porch with him. I try to remember the things he'd say and hear his strong voice. When my grandpa got sick and finally passed away, even at 13 I think I was in denial. I went through a period of days where it felt unreal. I played like normal. It wasn't true. Once it finally made sense, after watching my mother suffer the loss of her father, it made me realize that I never wanted to be her in a moment like that. To this day, it is hard for me to walk into my grandparent's garage. The last time I was in there, I could still smell the sawdust from things he had made. His pencil was still sitting out. I'd like to keep it that way.

My grandma is still walking around town (literally, like a boss) and has to be one of the most influential people in my life, aside from my own mother. She's 80 years old, witty, hilarious, and dresses like a modern day golden girl. If I could be half of the woman that she or my mom is, I'd feel pretty damn good.

I often reflect on the choices I have made and my mind immediately goes to my grandpa. Would he be proud to know the woman that I am approaching 30? I hope so. I think it's safe to say that his memory pushes me to be a better person, and be true to myself. And maybe it's even a little bit that though he's up there kicking it with Jesus, I'm still a little afraid I'm going to hear his voice telling me to get out of the cupboard...

I'm lucky to say that at 28, I have a wonderful family and friends (old and new) who are healthy, happy, thriving human beings that inspire me every day. In 2012 my goal is to make sure they know it. Life is too short and smiles should happen more often.

Fa-La-La-Lolla-pa-loo-za

So my 3-day Lolla adventure came to a close on a movie-like muddy and rainy Sunday night. This was my first year going all three days and though it was balmy, hot, wet, and left me completely exhausted, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Friday night I shook my money-maker with friends at Girl Talk in Perry's Tent. It was nothing but a shoulder to shoulder crowded mess of people dancing and singing in sweat and heat. Amazing.

 This night ended on a walk to get out of the crowd with nearly 60,000 people filling in the streets.

Saturday began with one of my favorites - Phantogram. I saw them previously at Lincoln Hall earlier this year with a live drummer and it's since been one of my favorite live shows. Also on Saturday was Mayer Hawthorne, Fitz and the Tantrums, Local Natives (yay!), Death From Above, Ellie Goulding, and My Morning Jacket.

Sunday - though the line-up wasn't quite as exciting, was by far my favorite day of the festival. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. stole the day early on with a great set. We Almost Lost Detroit & their cover of Higher Love stole the crowd's heart. This was immediately followed by a quick peek at The Cars and then we moved it back to Perry's for some Dubstep dancing.

 

Then...the pouring rain came.
Not a dry shirt in the festival.
Fields filled with mud.
People running around barefoot.
My boots filled with water.

 Then the rain stopped. We started to dry out.
Arctic Monkies.
Explosions in the Sky.
Foo Fighters.

The sky turned an angry and gorgeous brown, and before we had time to think "looks like rain..." it started pouring again.

An so it was like I said: my 3-day Lolla adventure came to a close on a movie-like muddy and rainy Sunday night as I ran through a field of mud and water in the pouring rain holding hands with two lovely new lady friends. And in the middle of all of this running/rain/mud, everything turned to slow motion as Foo Fighters had began playing "Hero."

And scene.

Everything has a place. Is this it?

I keep telling myself I need to write more. People keep asking me to write more.
I've been in about a 4 month funk of writers block and nothing seems  to be inspiring me.
That is the worst.

I'm moving again in four weeks. This will be eighth apartment in eight years - I don't even know how that's possible. My third already in Chicago; and then I come to the realization that I've already been in Chicago just over two years and I have no idea where the time has gone. I still feel new here. I still don't know the city like I thought I would. And in some ways, I'm more alone than when I first arrived here; I'm not sure how that's even possible. Summertime in Chicago is the worst time to feel like you're in the middle of a friend drought. There is so much going on, and so much to see. I guess I could start attending festivals and pass out flyers that say something like "Free Friend. Inquire right now - look up."

Another apartment. Another year lease. And I'm starting to wonder...when the hell am I going to ever go back home to California? Or will I? Timing seems like everything the older you get; responsibilities holding you in place. I'm not 20 anymore. Picking up and just leaving isn't just a trivial argument with your folks and a chance to prove someone wrong about whether or not you're going to make it somewhere new. It's an adventure at 20. A commitment at 25. A foundation at 30(ish).

I'll be honest. Whether it's here or there, or anywhere else -
I might be just about ready for solid ground.

We Come Out On Top

Over the years in my ripe old age of 28...I realize I have many more "WTF" moments than I would like to admit. When I'm not fully happy or satisfied in life, it seems like every Monday I ask myself, "Uh...Afton, where is your life going?" In turn, I panic, feel unfulfilled, and probably sprout a few gray hairs that I hope my hair color is covering. Sure, we do things to try and change our current situation; help ourselves, but it's not going to come to fruition until it is good and ready. In the mean time, we buckle up and keep pressing. There have been many times where no matter how much I've cried, was scared, worried, felt like I was at rock bottom or desperate over something, I always come out alive, with a roof over my head, a heartbeat, a family and friends, and Jesus politely saying, "I told you so."

And no matter how many times I've heard this, I still seem to forget how blessed I am.
So here's to tomorrow. Good or bad, we come out on top.

Prioritize and Accessorize

Realizing last night that I'm an (accessory) hoarder, I decided to take an hour and go through all of my necklaces in hopes of downsizing. It didn't go as well as I had hoped...

I could tell you where I got/who gave me each and every one of these necklaces. I'm one of those "hard to let go of certain things" kind of people...even when I don't have much use for it anymore. But once I sprawled all of these out across my floor it became more like a time-line of beads, silver, gold, and cheap plastic. Turns out, some of the cheap stuff is my favorite.

And this is where I ended up...

My clutter not much smaller than when I started.

Fail?

2010 - The soundtrack of 365 days.

Songs that made my 2010 soundtrack 
(Not necessarily debuting in 2010...)

Home – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Airplanes – Local Natives
Rococo – Arcade Fire
Plastic Jungle – Miike Snow
Dance Yourself Clean – LCD Soundsystem
When I’m Small - Phantogram
Connjur – School of Seven Bells
Sprawl II – Arcade Fire
Clap Your Hands - Sia (xx!)
Blue Blood – Foals
Cosmic Love – Florence and the Machine
All to All – Broken Social Scene
Baby - Warpaint
Dream – Goldfrapp
Edge of Desire – John Mayer
Shak’ida – Donora
Howlin’ For You – Black Keys
Never Grow Up – Taylor Swift (completely allowed)

Songs I'm ashamed to admit I enjoyed in 2010
(some that often resulted in random dance parties...)

Runaway – Kanye West

DJ Got Us Falling in Love – Usher
Bad Romance – Gaga (obvious choice)
Love Sick Teenagers – Bear in Heaven
Whip My Hair - Willow (awesome choice)
Firework – Katy Perry
Love the Way You Lie – Eminem & Rihanna
Last Kiss – Taylor Swift
Your Love Is My Drug – Ke$ha (that sneaky bitch)
Country Strong – Gwenyth Paltrow
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

Wow. I'm really embarrassed. 

Sometimes Christmas = Survival

It’s winter in this city.
Bitter. Cold. Windy.
It’s the season of giving but it feels as though I have nothing left to give.
It’s a time for cheer but my cheering days have long since been over.
Trying hard to keep the warmth inside when you’re alone with drafty windows, in what still feels like a new city is a trick I have yet to perfect.
I thrive in moments of smiles and holiday that get me by, like snowflakes that trickle down and then melt away.
It seems these last few years the “merry” is dwindling…
But I’ll bundle up inside my parka and shield my eyes from the cruel wind and press on.
I have to.
You have to.
We all have to.
Because around the corner, there is a heat lamp with a space open for you; a crowded fire pit of people keeping each other warm.
And despite our hardships, we remember we are blessed. No matter who you are, or where you are in life - there is something to be thankful for.

This little light of mine.

Mean Girls

My youngest sister is 15 and a sophomore in high school. When I look at the girls she is surrounded by and how these girls treat each other, it makes my stomach turn. My family lives in Small Town, (Southern) Illinois where everyone knows just about everything about you and your family. The importance of status in both high school and adulthood are pretty much the same: what neighborhood you live in, the kind of car you drive, the kind of car your 16 year old drives, how good they are at the sport they play (give or take), what job you have, and how much of your closet is from Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister/American Eagle/Whatever the kids are wearing these days.

When I reflect on my times in junior high - 8th grade in particular, even at 27 I'm still a little sore when I put myself back in my 14 year old shoes. Not to say that I have open wounds, but those were some of the most difficult times of my young life, socially. I came from a private school into a public junior high school in 8th grade, which I suppose made me an easy target. One girl - ONE - saw that as an opportunity to use me as a step stool in order to gain attention, and it worked like a charm. I'll never forget how much I hated the P.E. locker room, basketball games where I had kids mocking me from the stands and laughing while I was cheering, practices where I cried to my squad telling them rumors weren't true and having some of them laugh at me, or the most popular (and tiniest) girl confront me in the bathroom and threaten to fight me because of what this person told her I supposedly said. Of course, me and said tiny girl have since laughed about this, but I was terrified at the time. I often came home from school and practice in tears because there was nothing I could do. I had a small handful of friends I stuck to like glue, because they were the only ones that cared.

Later that year however, this girl was removed from my school for poor behavior. Sometimes what goes around really does come around, I guess. I had hoped some of those people felt stupid for having listened to this broad and I know some of them did, and others carried on like it never happened. And I was just fine with that too, but that year left me a little bit scarred.

I have two younger sisters who have both gone through similar situations in high school and it is so painful to watch. As I've gotten older, it amazes me that young girls can do this to each other for no real reason at all. Bullying is becoming a real magnified problem for kids; they know it, they see it, they hear about it, but it still continues, and honestly - gets worse through the years. I just thank God that the mediums of social networks like facebook/myspace/twitter weren't around to be used as a megaphone when I was a kid.

Unfortunately when I go back home to visit, there are *some* adults I see living out their bullying days through their kids via sports, coaches, and some even still acting like life is a popularity contest in their 40s and 50s with each other. We're suppose to be teaching our youth the Golden Rule rather than acting like we're still in Mrs. Smith's 5th grade class at 45.  There are bigger things in life than the petty things we are spending our time gossiping and worrying about, and when something isn't right - SPEAK UP ABOUT IT. But that's...another story.

I have a question for you - do you look back on your life as a kid, knowing you were really cruel to someone/some people and think "wow, I was awesome?" And if you are picking on someone - why? Is it that important to go out of your way to make someone else miserable? 

Dear Sweet Sixteen,

Teen drama can rule your life and some high school girls are catty, petty, and horribly mean to each other for the sake of attention. But I promise nothing about popularity or humiliation will matter once you walk out of those doors for the last time. The punch line comes about five years after graduation when you have passed a lot of them on the climb; and in some cases, a few will turn out to be some of your closest friends - even though right now it might almost feel like an endless tunnel. 

Small town = small people. Shine through. xoxoxo.

Rio De JaColourMeHappy

This is the central entrance to a poor community called Santa Marta in Rio De Janeiro, which recently underwent a slightly colorful change. The project is sponsored by a local paint company called Favela Paint; local painters who were educated while working on the project. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

Read more about the project here.

Found via Oh joy!