Sometimes Christmas = Survival

It’s winter in this city.
Bitter. Cold. Windy.
It’s the season of giving but it feels as though I have nothing left to give.
It’s a time for cheer but my cheering days have long since been over.
Trying hard to keep the warmth inside when you’re alone with drafty windows, in what still feels like a new city is a trick I have yet to perfect.
I thrive in moments of smiles and holiday that get me by, like snowflakes that trickle down and then melt away.
It seems these last few years the “merry” is dwindling…
But I’ll bundle up inside my parka and shield my eyes from the cruel wind and press on.
I have to.
You have to.
We all have to.
Because around the corner, there is a heat lamp with a space open for you; a crowded fire pit of people keeping each other warm.
And despite our hardships, we remember we are blessed. No matter who you are, or where you are in life - there is something to be thankful for.

This little light of mine.

Mean Girls

My youngest sister is 15 and a sophomore in high school. When I look at the girls she is surrounded by and how these girls treat each other, it makes my stomach turn. My family lives in Small Town, (Southern) Illinois where everyone knows just about everything about you and your family. The importance of status in both high school and adulthood are pretty much the same: what neighborhood you live in, the kind of car you drive, the kind of car your 16 year old drives, how good they are at the sport they play (give or take), what job you have, and how much of your closet is from Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister/American Eagle/Whatever the kids are wearing these days.

When I reflect on my times in junior high - 8th grade in particular, even at 27 I'm still a little sore when I put myself back in my 14 year old shoes. Not to say that I have open wounds, but those were some of the most difficult times of my young life, socially. I came from a private school into a public junior high school in 8th grade, which I suppose made me an easy target. One girl - ONE - saw that as an opportunity to use me as a step stool in order to gain attention, and it worked like a charm. I'll never forget how much I hated the P.E. locker room, basketball games where I had kids mocking me from the stands and laughing while I was cheering, practices where I cried to my squad telling them rumors weren't true and having some of them laugh at me, or the most popular (and tiniest) girl confront me in the bathroom and threaten to fight me because of what this person told her I supposedly said. Of course, me and said tiny girl have since laughed about this, but I was terrified at the time. I often came home from school and practice in tears because there was nothing I could do. I had a small handful of friends I stuck to like glue, because they were the only ones that cared.

Later that year however, this girl was removed from my school for poor behavior. Sometimes what goes around really does come around, I guess. I had hoped some of those people felt stupid for having listened to this broad and I know some of them did, and others carried on like it never happened. And I was just fine with that too, but that year left me a little bit scarred.

I have two younger sisters who have both gone through similar situations in high school and it is so painful to watch. As I've gotten older, it amazes me that young girls can do this to each other for no real reason at all. Bullying is becoming a real magnified problem for kids; they know it, they see it, they hear about it, but it still continues, and honestly - gets worse through the years. I just thank God that the mediums of social networks like facebook/myspace/twitter weren't around to be used as a megaphone when I was a kid.

Unfortunately when I go back home to visit, there are *some* adults I see living out their bullying days through their kids via sports, coaches, and some even still acting like life is a popularity contest in their 40s and 50s with each other. We're suppose to be teaching our youth the Golden Rule rather than acting like we're still in Mrs. Smith's 5th grade class at 45.  There are bigger things in life than the petty things we are spending our time gossiping and worrying about, and when something isn't right - SPEAK UP ABOUT IT. But that's...another story.

I have a question for you - do you look back on your life as a kid, knowing you were really cruel to someone/some people and think "wow, I was awesome?" And if you are picking on someone - why? Is it that important to go out of your way to make someone else miserable? 

Dear Sweet Sixteen,

Teen drama can rule your life and some high school girls are catty, petty, and horribly mean to each other for the sake of attention. But I promise nothing about popularity or humiliation will matter once you walk out of those doors for the last time. The punch line comes about five years after graduation when you have passed a lot of them on the climb; and in some cases, a few will turn out to be some of your closest friends - even though right now it might almost feel like an endless tunnel. 

Small town = small people. Shine through. xoxoxo.

Rio De JaColourMeHappy

This is the central entrance to a poor community called Santa Marta in Rio De Janeiro, which recently underwent a slightly colorful change. The project is sponsored by a local paint company called Favela Paint; local painters who were educated while working on the project. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

Read more about the project here.

Found via Oh joy!

Driver, surprise me.

Bloggin' 'bout things, things, and fancy...things!

Driver, surprise me.

A little more personal. A little more me.

It is a strange time in my life. I keep looking around my new studio realizing that I'm completely alone for the first time. No roommates. No boyfriend. No cat. No dog. Just the sound of music clawing at my ears to make me feel less alone; and surprisingly, I'm ok with that.

Everything I have fits into one, really giant room (and two closets). My window air conditioner sounds like it has nickles being thrown down onto the back of it thanks to the person who lives above me whose air conditioner drips loudly onto mine.

I can't seem to decide what curtains to hang.

Or where to put this photo.

When I walk through the hallways of my building, which use to be a ritzy hotel in the 1920's, I feel like I am walking through the run-down version of the Overlook Hotel. I have yet to run into two twin girls asking me to play with them forever, but I am convinced there is a shining and have zero plans to ever knock on room 237.

But I have a rooftop deck that overlooks Lake Michigan, the Chicago skyline, and the zoo that is fully capable of melting your heart.

It's hard for me to believe I have been in Chicago now for almost a year and a half. On Monday I walked to Lakeshore Drive and walked along the shore. The city was completely lit up and the lake was glowing. I remember sitting on the beach in California several times thinking "I am really lucky to live here." And for the first time in a year and a half, I felt exactly that, sitting on the shore looking at the city on the water.

It's a little different. It's really new. But walking around my friggin' awesome neighborhood, I fully intend to conquer this place just like any other new territory I have explored. I don't know what city I'll end up in next or when that will be, but I feel pretty good about where I am now. So here's to new experiences yet again.

...I may feel differently when the forecasted high is 10 degrees.

Amazing Grace

I was blessed to have the opportunity to be one of the photographers this past Sunday for the annual baptisms in Lake Michigan for Park Community Church. They hold regular baptisms throughout the year, but once a year a troop ventures out to North Avenue Beach at 6:30 in the morning to crawl into the brisk waters of Lake Michigan to give their lives to Jesus Christ and start anew. It was one of the most beautiful opportunities of my life and here are a few of those moments.

An experience of faith and trust as I had never before encountered quite like this.

Karen Elson has arrived.

I had the pleasure of seeing Karen Elson at Lincoln Hall with Dave the other night.

For those of you who have not yet heard of her or had the chance to hear her, she is a fiery redheaded super model, turned Jack White's wife, turned folk singer. Actually, music is nothing new to her. She's been a closet song writer/singer (literally) for quite some time, often turning to her closet to write music for the seclusion it offered. Her album dropped late last month and though I had only heard the title track, her show did not disappoint.

Her sound is very country/folk with an almost gothic theme. Most of her songs were slow and soft, with one exception: 100 Years From Now (video below), which is a song from a cabaret she is part of, was amazing. My crappy coolpix doesn't do her justice in both photo or video, but it was indeed an excellent show. Her presentation was relaxingly sorrowful and low-key; not to mention, that dress was rad.

Kurt Halsey: Exhibit at Rotofugi - Chicago

I admire art tremendously. I especially admire those who have the ability to draw, sketch, and paint amazing pieces. I have a lot of friends who do this both as careers and hobbies and I truly envy them, even though it's one of the seven deadly sins. Let's face it, I'm ok at drawing (anything but scissors 3 dimensionally, just ask my high school art class), but when it comes to painting, I'm pretty sure I fail. Among some of my favorite artists Kurt Halsey sits right at the top of my list. You may have spotted reproductions of his work previously at Urban Outfitters, unfortunately (that is a whole other blog entry waiting to happen). I first fell in love with Kurt back in 2002 when I was pushing through a long distance relationship and came across one of his drawings that melted my heart a little bit. 

Originally from Wisconsin, his body of work focuses on various media including pencil, ink, and paint. Many of his pieces seem to capture the heartaches and butterflies of lerv (tear), but he also creates adorable pieces that are just simply that - adorable. 

"I have drawn since the moment I could hold a pencil. I always wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist. My drawings and paintings are little moments and simple thoughts, and I’m not sure they need to mean anything more than that. My free time is spent quietly with cats, my wife, and my interests in animal rights."

 If you're in the Chicago area, I think it would be in your best interests to check out his exhibit!

...or else!

June 18-July 11, 2010 at
Rotofugi
1953 W Chicago Ave
312.491.9501

I Can Be Your Long Lost Pal

Upon drinking my morning brew and listening to one of the most amazing Peter Gabriel songs of all time, I started compiling a playlist of summer feel-good music. Now...while listening to this most awesome of awesome playlists I thought - "dang." There are a lot of good songs on here from my beloved childhood  that just make me smile. So, I decided to make a top "feel-good songs" list of the 80's/early 90's Era.

Dun

Dun

Dun!

So here you have it. These are some of the songs that remind me of trying to walk in my mom's high heels, jamming with my dad in the basement and playing with my collection of Jem dolls and Polly Pockets. Maybe not the best songs ever, but that's arguable. I can't say that these songs meant much to me at the time other than the fact that I knew they were just...good.

Afton's Fantastical Top 15 (10 was too hard) Feel Good Songs in an 80s/90's State of Mind:

1. Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel

2. Call Me Al - Paul Simon

3. There She Goes- The La's

4. Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn

5. Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

6. Don't Worry Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin

7. The Promise - When in Rome

8. Walking on Broken Glass - Annie Lennox

9. Handle With Care - Travelling Wilburys

10. No Rain - Blind Melon

11. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2

12. I'm on Fire - Bruce Springsteen

13. Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega

14. Summer's Cauldron - XTC 

15. Keep Your Hands to Yourself - Georgia Satellites

Note the proton packs...

What's yours?!

T.G.I.S...ummer!

It's beginning to feel like Summer is finally here.

I spent Memorial Day weekend with my family in St. Louis with an abundance of pancakes, Cardinal baseball, and Schlafly beer. Every weekend should be a 3-day weekend. And if I'm elected President, we will have 4-day work weeks and 3-day weekends! ...And a soda machine and Lisa Frank sticker dispenser in the lunch room.

Now if I could just find my tan...

At home in California in t-minus 21 days!

Vote for Afton!

Pac-man has teeth?!

Not only is it my dear friend Lillian's birthday...but today the forever smiling Pac-man turned 30 which, at that time would have made me -3. That's enough to make anyone feel old. Go on, procrastinate. Try to make it to level 256. I dare you. It's literally impossible, since the game technically has no ending.


Pac-Man made by Neave Games


Seriously. Teeth.

Bedazzle Me Please

Dear LF,

I'll be visiting you in LA. Bring your glorious looks to Chicago already!

Coming to stores in July...yes please!

http://www.lfstores.com/

<3 Afton

High Fashion Crime Scenes

Tyra Banks has unfortunately made the word "fierce" a regular and extremely annoying word in the world of high fashion. (*shudder*) But I know someone that takes this to a whole new extreme. High fashion has always had a bit of a dark and dirty side. One of my favorite photographers to ever capture that is Melanie Pullen. Her body of work is a bit really dark and morbid, but also a whole lot of amazing. Her creativity in with scene and character creation never ceases to amaze me and I'm always excited to see what she is going to produce next. It's easy to shoot a hot fake dead girl, but she creates such an elaborate story through her photos - not to mention, the fashion is fierce.

http://www.melaniepullen.com/

Gallery at:

ACE GALLERY INSTITUTE OF CONTEMPORARY ART      

5514 Wilshire Boulevard, Second Floor
Los Angeles, CA 90036
T: 323.935.4411

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A Tisket a Tasket...

The gorgeous weather yesterday allowed me to get outside for a much needed shoot. I had wanted to begin working on a specific project, but a few of the locations I needed to shoot were under construction and very un-photogenic...unfortunately. Instead, I trotted around town on foot looking for anything that caught my eye. The result - one of the best shoots I've had yet! At least...I was pleased with the results.

View the rest on my flickr.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/aftonmichelle/