When I reflect on my times in junior high - 8th grade in particular, even at 27 I'm still a little sore when I put myself back in my 14 year old shoes. Not to say that I have open wounds, but those were some of the most difficult times of my young life, socially. I came from a private school into a public junior high school in 8th grade, which I suppose made me an easy target. One girl - ONE - saw that as an opportunity to use me as a step stool in order to gain attention, and it worked like a charm. I'll never forget how much I hated the P.E. locker room, basketball games where I had kids mocking me from the stands and laughing while I was cheering, practices where I cried to my squad telling them rumors weren't true and having some of them laugh at me, or the most popular (and tiniest) girl confront me in the bathroom and threaten to fight me because of what this person told her I supposedly said. Of course, me and said tiny girl have since laughed about this, but I was terrified at the time. I often came home from school and practice in tears because there was nothing I could do. I had a small handful of friends I stuck to like glue, because they were the only ones that cared.
Later that year however, this girl was removed from my school for poor behavior. Sometimes what goes around really does come around, I guess. I had hoped some of those people felt stupid for having listened to this broad and I know some of them did, and others carried on like it never happened. And I was just fine with that too, but that year left me a little bit scarred.
I have two younger sisters who have both gone through similar situations in high school and it is so painful to watch. As I've gotten older, it amazes me that young girls can do this to each other for no real reason at all. Bullying is becoming a real magnified problem for kids; they know it, they see it, they hear about it, but it still continues, and honestly - gets worse through the years. I just thank God that the mediums of social networks like facebook/myspace/twitter weren't around to be used as a megaphone when I was a kid.
Unfortunately when I go back home to visit, there are *some* adults I see living out their bullying days through their kids via sports, coaches, and some even still acting like life is a popularity contest in their 40s and 50s with each other. We're suppose to be teaching our youth the Golden Rule rather than acting like we're still in Mrs. Smith's 5th grade class at 45. There are bigger things in life than the petty things we are spending our time gossiping and worrying about, and when something isn't right - SPEAK UP ABOUT IT. But that's...another story.
I have a question for you - do you look back on your life as a kid, knowing you were really cruel to someone/some people and think "wow, I was awesome?" And if you are picking on someone - why? Is it that important to go out of your way to make someone else miserable?
Dear Sweet Sixteen,
Teen drama can rule your life and some high school girls are catty, petty, and horribly mean to each other for the sake of attention. But I promise nothing about popularity or humiliation will matter once you walk out of those doors for the last time. The punch line comes about five years after graduation when you have passed a lot of them on the climb; and in some cases, a few will turn out to be some of your closest friends - even though right now it might almost feel like an endless tunnel.
Small town = small people. Shine through. xoxoxo.
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